A Deimoan WolfeCry

I got myself listening to my "Tulug-tulugan Playlist" and still, hereat the office doing barely nothing but…. nothing.
i just started [again] my so-called site… i just can’t get "in the mood" for creating this site… it’s just that the pciam using here is soslow, i would even find myself sleeping while surfin [duh... it just gets slower everyday...]

I’ve tried surfin on youtube… got some ofmy start upsthere… just one vid… an amv for evangelion.. god ilove that anime… though i never had the chance to see the whole series… now that i can see the vids at youtube,imstarting to feel  that i was missin half of my life…

God i miss the game… Rose online had finally [FINALLY!!!!] come out with their third patch [the eldeon planet]… i toldmyself that i would play the game only if the third planet would comeout… now, the third planet is out, but the computer shopsdon’t have the clients for eldeon/… i can see the site… it has some coolchanges… but im not able to experience such coolness cause i can’t see an i cafe that has the latest patch… [rose online doesn't work anymore unless u have the latest patch...]

i have a mobbed account [yap! the MTVMobbed] and,igot my blogs there that has some of my writings… [in case you don'tknow,i write stuffs,yeah stuffs... just plain stuffs] i was lucky enough to gain for votes [though i think i shouldn’t be braggin’ bout it since i technically have only two votes… i had one vote for one filipino mobber there and another three from another… means… i hadthe vote because im a filipino… just because i, too, am a filipino… GODDAMMIT

To a Friend…

Remind me of the sins i used to have,
remind me of the king i used to be.
Remind me of the life i used to love,
remind me that there’s everything in me.

I always thought you were mine,
I always thought we were doing fine….

You brought me to the heaven im in now,
you pulled me from the hell im down…

I always liked you for being there,
I always liked you for being nice…
Up til now at the phone i stare,
Cause i was expecting ur voice…

Then, just one day…
The sun fell down on me,
The sun just started to cease its ray…
And God damn heaven fell on me.

You toldme you don’t even know my name,
Thateverything was just plain dream.

And know imust say….

My friend,
I had a Fucking Good Time Back Then….
And up till now, im still fucked with that good feeling…

Questions ofthe Exhausted Mind

Kapag sinabi kong kaibigan, matutuwa ka ba??
O halinhin mong ipagkakalat na ako’y umaasa lamang…

Kapag sinabi ko sa yo ang aking mga sikreto, makikinig ka ba??
O maghahanap ka pa ng mga sikreto na alam mong ipagkakatiwala ko pa sa yo…

Kapag sa’yo ko inilapit ang aking mga kasalanan, ililigtas mo ba ako??
O ako’y iyong lilinlangin sa iyong makadiyos na salita…

Kapag ikaw na ang aking anghel, ako ba’y iyong babantayan??
O ako’y iyong ilalapit sa langit at ipamumukha ang aking mga kslanan saharap ng diyos…

Kapag ikaw ang aking diyos, ako ba’y iyong patatawarin??
O mauupo sa iyong trono at iinggitin sa mga bagay na natatamasa ng iyong mga anak lamang…

Kapag itinuring ba kitang kapatid, ako’y iyong gagabayan??
O iyong isasama sa iyong mga lakad upang maipkta sa ibang tao na ako’y iyong ikinakahiya…

Kapag itinuring kitang magulang, ako ba’y iyong palalakihin??
O iyong pakakainin sa isang mataas na hapag na diko maabot kailanman…

for God’s Sake!!!

Give me a damn reason why i had to work??? Cmon, i got no family to raise… no wedding to plan… no studies to look forwArd to… i don’t even have a god damn life!!! i would always find myself working… going to different houses, giving them what they wants, satisfying them, etc etc… gettin paid for it… and finally, feelin tired by the end of the day… after a week or so, they’ll give me some, perhaps a thousand or more and then after a week, i find myself wondring how come i had no money left on my pocket???

Wolven Harks

Darkness…

nothing but darkness…

it’s not the lack of light that created it…

its the apathy that bursted inside me…

im numb…

nothing to feel, no one to feel for…

Moonlight…

it’s not because i need the light at night…

it’s because i need the night more…

and the moon is a good cover for it…

cause at night, i don’t have to feel the loneliness…

everyone’s alone at night…

Howl…

its not the me howling because of sadness…

its me scaring all the feelings i know…

i dont want to feel anything…

i just want to be with myself…

nothing but myself…

Rustling…

it’s not the wind that causes the rustles…

its the leaves…

pushing away from each other…

cause they are fed up being with the same leaves tonight…

Hushing…

it’s not the sound of a sound sleep…

it’s the sound of a mother bidding her goodbye…

to the sons and daughters she nurtured all her life…

it’s a funny way of saying goodbye…

And when i had all these…

i don’t have to feel alone…

cause it goes to show…

that everyone’s alone…

tonight…

I don’t wanna know that…

that im the only person…

the only person alone….

alone tonight…

"Remember… that’s the only thing you can do

Forget… that’s the only solution…"

"Love never dies… It kills…"

HMP…

Im at The office ryt now… my boss -slash- my dad left me here (reason why i have the rarest chance of like spending 80% of my office hours doing nuttin… not just nothing but plain nuttin….

i had one of our subscriber invited this morning, the way i saw her personally is actually far from the way i saw her from her pix…

i surfed on some of the sites i usually go to whenever no one’s around… god dammit!!! do i have to tell you what exactly are those sites??? hypoes!!!

i had been lizning to my so-called playlist since this morning… what??? there’s nuttin strange there right?? o kamon… i’m the one who chose those songs, so i better be not -fed up- with the songs… even if it has to be played everyday, whole day.. for the rest of ny so called living life… if you want to see the list… then try clicking here.. duh uh!!!

my co worker who happened to be just a few inches away from me, is surfin to some porn -not being a big hypocrate or sumtin- but i think its totally lame… bangbus.. nothing it’s like… the number 1 porn site in the world next to hentai.com… which is by the way isn’t that good anymore… i mean can’t he think of something worth watching like college girls on some fuckfest… or some hardcore lesbies who loves asian…. ahhhh.. whatever…

ok.. my co workers are already here.. got’s to act as if im doing a good job -as if im doing a good job-

o kamon!!! admit it!!! u miss me!!!

haaayyy…

i just found this one vid.. i liked it so much… i would not even care if i watch it everyday…

clik mo dito ah…

-Eksplanasyon sa kung sino talaga Ako…-

umaga na pala… unti unting pumutok ang araw sa aking mata

sabay kinain ng araw ang aking lakas at pag asa…

walang tinira…

gusto ko nang bumangon, ngunit sapat ng katanghalian para ako’y awitan…

isang oyaying hindi nagpapatulog bagkos ay pumapatay…

wag ka nang bumangon, sinigaw ng aking kama…

ang aking kama ay larawan ng asiwa, isang larawang gabi gabi kong tutulugan at umaumaga kong babatiin…

tinapik ako ni satanas sa aking kama… umpisahan mo na…

ang alin??

isang misyong kahit d ko nalalaman, ay unti unti ko palang naisasakatuparan…

ako’y larawan ng kawalanghiyaan sa likod ng kakaibang respeto…

isang respetong masarap kung ihihimas sa tiyan ngunit mapait kung akin nang tutunawin..

ang aking buhay ay isang malaking kabukiran…

alam kong may daan palabas… ngunit di ko tinatahak…

alam kong maputik ngunit di ko iniiwasan…

alam kong dito, wala akong proteksyon… ngunit panatag ako…

dala dala ko ay ang aking sarili lamang…

at alam kong iyon ang aking kahinaan..

isang kahinaang sa kahit na paanong paraan ay isa pa ring kahinaan…

bumaba na ako sa kama… isang kamang nakalatag sa gitna ng kabukiran…

ito ang mundo ko…

ang kama… ang bukid… ang walang katapusang gabi at ang paulit ulit na umaga…

dito ako nabuhay… at dito balak ni satanas na ako’y mamatay..

alam ko ‘yon… pero wala akong gagawin…

wala…

kung iiyak ba ako.. tatanungin mo ba ako kung bakit ako umiiyak??

o uutusan mo akong tumigil???

kapag tumawa ba ako, tatanungin mo ako nang bakit??

o tatawa ka rin, dahil tumatawa ako…

kapag natatakot ako, sasamahan mo ba ako??

o sasabihin mong wala akong dapat ikatakot… sasabihin mo lamang…

kung masasaktan ako… aalisin mo ba ang sakit?

o gagamutin mo lamang ang sugat??

kapag nangailangan ako…

alam ko…

nandyan ka lang…

nandyan sa yong pwesto, at ako’y paasahin…

wag kang mag alala…

di ako masasaktan…

dahil kapag nasaktan ako..

para ko na ding tinanggap na patay na ako…

dahil ang umasa…

un ang aking buhay…

at ang masaktan ang bumubuhay sa akin…