Of course, i dont expect Him to like me, but god damn this life, why the hell am i having such bad luck??
I need not to talk about what that bad luck could be, but there’s some tingly feeling inside me telling me im responsible for it. See, im a bit cursed. Well, funny you might think but it’s already proven.
See, the curse goes this way, whenever i expect over something to happen, and whenever i feel that everything will go out as what i want it to be, something bad, and when i said bad it’s really bad, happens.
1st proof, i was proud back then when i was high school about my small achievements at school. I may not be one of the best at my batch, but i was at my class. Im one of the guys back then who they look up to, not the godly thing, but the studently thing. whenever we take tests, they always seem to "hangaan" my scores. Not to emphasize that part, well, i looked forward at doing better at my college. I feel like i can do better on my college, that since i’ve never caused any disgrace during my time on hs, maybe i sort of deserve a good college school. Enrolling at some school at manila was one of my idea. But, unluckily, my dad just got fired from his work at globe comm. Well, technically, he wasn’t fired, he was just uhmm.. what would be the best way to describe it, hmmm… see, he was fired because of his age. well, he’s not of retirement age, it’s just that the company wants younger fresher employees, and need to lessen their expenses on salaries (as what my dad implied). they had to fire some one to hire a new one. my dad just had the downside of the ‘Law of employment’.
2nd proof, my sister promised me to help me on my studies, you know, financially. But a few months, or maybe weeks, something bad happened to her. Of course she didn’t die. Something worse, she didn’t die, instead, something alive came into her. what i mean is she got pregnant. so, unluckily, that means i am no longer a part of her priorities.
3rd proof, my uncle, also promised me of helping me out for my studies (yeah the same thing as my sis’). he said if i will just ask for his help, he will. since he already helped some of my cousins, maybe it’s our turn, better yet, my turn to receive some of my uncle’s blessing. of course, i liked the idea. i told him i love to and of course promised him to do good while he is helping me on my study. you know, good grades and the like. then just a few weeks i guess, he got fired from Makati med hosptal which where he’s working. That was enough for me to figure out, there’s something in me that causes such bad luck to my relatives. a few months after that, he decided to build a computer cafe at Bulacan. He told us, me and my brother were one of his option for the ‘tagabantay’. but sadly, it didn’t came true because the person which his supposed to be his financier for the bussines just backed out from their deal.
And the most recent proof is, well, i suppose this is just plain my fault. I happen to start to do plans for my studies. you know, earning for my self. Well, being the childish that i am, i had a very hard time executing my plans. After a year,(yes, only after i realized it’s been a year but still no development) i decided to take drastic measures for my life. i had maximum tolerance for my earnings. Up to the point of not having lunch just to save money. then, it just happend. Our company, PTAS, the company im working at, just had its contract unrenewed. yes. the company just had to stop from operating since Innove is ending the contract. That was very traumatic for me, actually, we are currently, experiencing it. The contract ends this end of feb. though, as an office staff, i had to do some paperworks that is needed for us to completely separate from Innove.
Well, that should be all by now. It’s just too unhealthy for me to continue. I just cant help but breakdown and… well, just breakdown.
Thanks for your time.
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