A Deimoan WolfeCry

Kamusta?

Naaalala n nman kita.

Para n nga aqng tanga e, dahil hanggang ngaun, inaasahan ko pang maalala mo pa ang pangalan ko, e dun ka nga mahina e.

Masaya ka ba?? Ako oo, kasi magkahiwalay na tau. At least ndi na aq mahihirapan. Ay oo nga pla, we had always been apart, ndi nman talaga tau nagsama e, isang beses lang, gabi na, biglaan pa, but im treasuring it. Odd d b?? Why treasure such experience?? Kc, sa kauna unahang pagkakataon, ginawa ko ang bagay na yon sa taong kakilala ko at kakilala ako. Ng may pag asang pagkatapos nun, ndi aq mgigising kinabukasan na my pag aalalang kakilala mu pa ba ako. At ntapos ang gabing iyon na wala akong pinagsisisihan o idinadamdam o inaalala.

Alam mo ba?? naalala pa rin kita, ndi n nga lang mdalas, ndi kagaya noon na nagpupuyat ako masagot ko lng ang tawag mo sa telepono. ‘Naka Move-on’ na kung baga. Pero parang hindi pa rin. Kasi sa tuwing nakikita ko ang larawan mo, o kahit biglaan lang kitang maalala ng walang dahilan, parang biglang nabubura lahat ng alam ko sa mundo at nauubos lahat ng lakas ko. Parang gusto kong lumuhod at maglulupasay sa lupa, sisihin ang Diyos kung bakit nya hinayaang makalimutan mo ako, at halughugin ka para lang magmakaawa sa harap mo at sabihing ‘na mimiss ko ang mga araw na magkausap tayo’. Syempre gus2 kong ibalik ung noon. Parang nasira na kasi ng tuluyan ang buhay ko nung nwala ka. Pero sa ngayon, sa nkikita kong nangyari sa buhay mo, wala n aqng krapatang ibalik ang oras at ibalik ang lahat.

May pinagsisisihan ako, na sana ndi ko n lng inamin na gus2 na kita, kc ndi nman tlga pwede d b?? ska, desperado lang ako, ndi mo n kasi ako naalala nun, gus2 ko lang kasi na bago mo ako tuluyang mkalimutan, ay malaman mo na proud ako na natuto akong mahalin ang isang taong katulad mo. sa ngayon?? halata nman cgurong may nararamdaman p ako, umiiwas n lang ako. magkakagulo p kasi kung ipiplit ko pa sarili ko. ako din nman ang talo.

Kung sakaling maalala mo pa ako, salamat. pro pagkatapos mo akong maalala, kalimutan mo na lang din ako, wala lang, kasi bka pag naalala mo ako kamustahin mo ako, at baka umasa ka pa din ng mga masasayang kwento galing sken, mapipilitan lang akong magsinungaling. dahil kahit kailan, pagkatapos mo kong iwan, ay hindi ko na maalala ang ‘authentic’ na pakiramdam ng isang taong masaya-yung tipong may inaasahang magandang bgay kinabukasan, gumagawa ng magandang bagay pra sa ikatutuwa ng taong mahal nya, at as simple as nangingiti sa twing maalala kahit lang ang pangalan mo.

Maraming beses na kitang na-blog, minura n nga kita e, kasi ang akala ko nakalimutan mo na ako, nagkamali pla ako. kinalimutan mo pla ako. At ayon sa paniniwala ko, ang paglimot sa isang tao ay isang desisyon na nangangailangan lang ng nararapat na dahilan para gawin. may dahilan ka, at mas malaki pa ang dahilan mo saken o sa kahit na anung bagay na pinagsaluhan na natin.

Alam mo ba, hanggang ngaun, lahat ng mga bagay na sinabi at pinaalam ko sa’yo, hanggang ngaun, ikaw pa rin ang tanging taong nkakaalam. wala parin kasi akong nakikitang tao na deserving ipagkatiwala ang mga bagay na ipinagkatiwala ko sayo. hanggang ngaun naniniwala pa rin ako na itatago mo ang lahat ng iyon.

Hindi ko na inaalala yung araw na baka magkasalubong tayo. kung makita man kita sa malayo at mapilitan akong dumaan sa harap mo, yuyuko ako. at kung masagasaan man ako sa daan dahil sa pagkakayuko ko, ayos lang. ikaw nman ang dahilan kung bakit ako mabubunggo e. at kung mangyari man na ikamatay ko ang pagyuko dahil mkakasalubong kita, ako na ang magiging pinakamasayang taong nabunggo sa gitna ng daan ng nakayuko. kasi ikaw ang huling taong nakita ko at nasa isip ko bago tumilapon ang utak ko sa malayo at masagasaan ng trak ng basura.

Marami talaga akong gustong sabihin sayo,

Marami pa ding mga tanong,

Pro masayado ng mhrap pra sken na iblog ka, kahit hindi ko nman ito diretsang inadress sau. Kasi hbang ibinablog kita, naalala kita, at habang naalala kita, unti unting nauupos ang kukute ko at para bang unti unti akong nwawalan ng pag asa sa buhay na magiging masaya pa ako.

Masaya ako. Oo, wag kang mag alala.

Masaya is just a word.

at kaya kong ulitulitin yon.

Masaya ako.

Masaya ako.

Masaya ako.

At higit sa lahat,

Masaya ako.

Masaya
saya
ya.

Ako??

-Para sa taong hanggang ngayon ay ipipnipilit ko pa ring makalimutan-

P. S.

- Ako nga pala si Emmanuel Cera. At, Salamat. -

Must i remember your face today,
and sleep with all the memories
of us together.
When was the last time
i spoke of your name??
and what was the last reason
i touched ur lips?
I may never remember,
But still i am reminded
of the place,
the time
and the painful reason why you left.
That shook me out of my systems.
And it wasn’t easy for me
to take my soul back.
Now i am having a hard time
ending this message,
for i still have lots of questions
that u are unaware of.
And the irony in this
is that i don’t know how to continue either.
for i have the fear
that this chance of talking to you,
eventhough it’s just thru a paper,
might end up not letting you know
how much i miss you,
how strong i am trying to be
how long i keep loving you
and how hard i am trying to be
the person that you once loved
and at the same time,
be the person that doesn’t deserve
to be left by someone as wonderful as you.
This is just a message.
And still everything is all up to you,
and whatever it might be,
i will be the same Emman
that once accepted

…your painful decision.

Hehe, since i was away from doing my blogging activities recently, maybe i could give you some of the things that i’ve been up to…

A job, a new one.

-well, having our company’s (hehe ksama ako s may ari???) contract ended, i had to do something to keep myself from being ‘jobless’. Well, actually it aint that much effort that i gave looking for one(nays huwan, ang yabang!!!) since, it was my new employer who called me and ask if i could work for him, not bragging or so, but, that’s true. being knowledgeable of some of the works (well, in some ways, i am knowledgeable of almost everything!!!) that the new contractor might be needing, my employer decided to pick me as his GLBB personnel. too much bragging, hehehe… basta all im saying is, i have a new job that keeps me busy every second of my life.

-walang kinalaman sa topic ko knina, but i’d love to (yes, i do love to!!!) do some reviews on some bands that i’d been listening to… so, for some band lovers out deh, grab ur eyeballs and try reading this one… just try… hehehe

Silent Sanctuary
- i first heard them at MYX bandarito, actually i was just intruiged on how Iya would talk to their guest on the said show, she talks to them casually, as if they had been friends since 19-god knows when- by the way, Silent Sanctuary is a new band, speaking of ‘kasikatan’. See, when i first saw them at myx they sounded so cool (para sa’kin ha!!!), especially seeing the two band members playing an unusally big, hmmm… instrument, the cello. and the other, which you’ll only see on orchestras, the violin. But being a pinoy banda, they didn’t loose this astig distinction on pinoy bands. Reading the lyrics alone, they might capture your hearts (xenxa, ako kc naganun e, huwaw inlab ako s kanila?? hehehe…) and expect more on listening to their music. they actually don’t have this certain genre as a band, listening to kismet , pink 5ive, rebound, ingat ka, nagtahan and summer song you’ll be excited on what kind of music they might sing next. Their debut album is entitled, ‘Fuschiang Pag-Ibig’ which is a list of sad songs that mostly about their vocalist (istir lang!!! well, according to their MYX bandarito interview… but hindi nman cguro). And i must say this, If you’ll visit their official website, you’ll see their opening page wherein the five members were lying on the floor and they have some carton sort-of saying ‘Michelle, miss ka ni Kerwin’. By the way you can visit these links to know more and listen to some of their songs…

http://www.silentsanctuary.com
http://silent-sanctuary.rakista.com
http://silentmanager.multiply.com

Say Anything
-maybe ill do the other bands after i sleep.. hehe…