Archive for February, 2008

Pity is the heart who believes in ‘I Love You"

For he listens to the lips, instead of the hearts.

Pity is the heart who cries in goodbyes,

For he denies the good in her chosen byes.

Pity is the heart who fights for the unloving,

For he punishes his self with her immoral sins.

Pity is the heart who despairs for love,

For he tires his soul from plastic hearts.

And,

Pity is the hearts who believes in love,

… for he is destined to believe in hate and fear along…

…Love is not a feeling but a story…
… Wherein as how important beginnings are,
                so does the ending
                      though beginnings may happen once upon a time
                        real life will never end in ever after…

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Bakit masakit ang maiwan ng walang bakas,
ng mga taong ang alam mo’y alam nilang sila’y iyong lakas?

Dahil ba nadarama mong kanila kang tinalikuran?

O dahil alam mong kanila’y isa ka lamang pabigat?

Bakit mahirap isara ang iyong puso,
matapos sambitan ng katagang ‘hindi na kita mahal’?

Dahil ba alam mong siya’y nagsawa na sa pagmamahal sayo?

O dahil nalalaman mong pinakawalan mo ang isang panaginip na kasing ganda niya?

Bakit mapait tapusin ang relasyon,
na ang dahila’y ang kanyang ipinaglihim na pananaksil?

Dahil ba alam mong hindi siya napipigil ng iisang bisig?

O dahil alam mong ang lahat na iyong gawa’y hindi sa kanya nasasapat?

Bakit hindi kayang limutin ang pagmamahal
na natapos dahil sa inyong di mapigil na kapalaran?

Dahil ba alam alam mong kanyang desisyon na sundin ang kapalaran?

O dahil alam mong hindi mo kayang ipaglaban ang iyong pagmamahal sa kanya?

Bakit mo iniiyakan ang pag alis
Ng isang taong lingid ang iyong pagmamahal sa kaniya?

Dahil ba sa kanyang kamanhiran mula sa pagmamahal mo?

O dahil wala kang lakas ng loob na umiyak sa harap niya at ipaalam ang iyong tunay na dama?

At Bakit mo din ikamamatay
ang kamatayan ng iyong pinakamamahal?

Dahil ba sa kanyang tuluyang pag iwan sayo?

O dahil ba hindi mo na maipagpapatunay ang karurukan ng iyong pagmamahal sa kanya?

Anu ma’t anu man ang tunay na sagot,
Iisa lang ang alam kong tunay na katanungan…

… na kung bakit sa dalawang taong nagmamahalan,
kailangang may isang maiwan na magdadala ng matatamis niyong alaala,
at isang magtitiis sa sakit ng pag iisa at pangungulila….

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Midnight are the days when i find company.
Lonely are the crowds that hold my hand.
Mute is the time when i wanted to speak.
Deaf are the friends i wanted to talk to.

Though shattered, i had to continue.
though discontented, i accepted.
Unhappy, so i masked a smile,
And fooled myself with apathy.

Nearly down on my knees.
I walked and searched for a foe.
And fought to get my tears back.
With sadness as inspiration.

I need to feel my toes.
Need to know how to bleed.
Need to remember how heart beats without harmony
Need to learn how to grieve when someone you care most leave.
Need to fear death, nightmares and forgotten promises.

I need to fight for my emotions back.

Tell me.

How to break your own wall.
How to pick your own locks.
How to open your own doors.
And how to free from your own bonds.

If it is your chosen fate to do these to your self.

I know, it was my decision to deny my loneliness…

But nobody told me the side effects of accepting your fate.
Nobody told me of death,

And of how it lives in your heart

…in complete silence.

I was just talking to my shadow

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Tahimik mong nilalakad ang kahabaan ng EDSA
Naghahanap ng bagay na ikapapariwara.
Bagama’t ganap na ang iyong tahaki’y
Naliligaw ang iyong titig.
At sinasabayan ang mga awiting
Malabnaw sa iyong pandinig.

Nanghihina kang pinipilit
Ang misteryo ng iyong tunguhan.
Nang sa gayo’y
Matapos ang gabi’t di mo na muling lakarin ang kahaban nitong EDSA.

Subalit hindi kaya.

Gaya ng binanggit, nanghihina ka na.

Hindi dahil may ngalay ang iyong yabag,
kundi dahil mag isa ka sa iyong lakbay.
Hindi dahil ikay nahahapo
kundi dahil inagaw na ng iyong pasanin ang iyong lakas.
Hindi dahil mahina ka,
kundi dahil ang arawing ganito’y nakasasawa.
Hindi dahil malayo ang destinasyon,
kundi dahil walang halik, yapos o ngiti na aabutan.

Hindi dahil iyong ikamamatay,

Kundi dahil iyong ikabubuhay,

Samantalang, nalalaman mong ito’y salungat sa iyong ipinagnanais.
Ang imanhid ang sarili
at igapos ang damdamin
mula sa ipinarusang biyaya, at ibiniyayang parusa,
na kung tuusi’y ikaw lamang ang nagkakabit ng katagang biyaya.

At sino kang nilalakbay itong EDSA?
isang abuhing musmos na may hatid na se-singkong karangyaang ‘hinging-limos’ mula sa kaibigang-estranghero?
isang ermitanyong baliw na tangan ang pait ng kutya at bigay-tataking mula sa nakahihigit?
isang salot na palaboy na hila-hila ang inumit mong kasiyahan mula sa nangang-ulol sa’yo?
o isang istokwang rebelde na ang bitbit’y huling alaala ng palo, tadyak, at bugbog na gawa sa matamis at makulay na kendi?

At maari namang isang masayang bata,
na ang katauha’y ibinata’t ipinasaya ng kasinungalingan at pangakong bako ng ‘Mumo’ na likha nina ama’t ina.

Wala ka nang balak sumagot.

Dahil anu’t anu pa’y wala na sa iyo ang iyong katayuan.
ang iyong nadarama.
ang iyong katauhan.
kahit ang iyong pinagmulan.

Ang tanging nasasaisip mo,
ay marating ang iyong tahakin,
nang matapos na ang gabi
at makapagsimula ng panibagong dapit hapon.

MALIGAYANG PAGLALAKBAY
Malayo man ang iyong tahaki’y
Mararating din iyon.
Sapagkat ito ang iyong kapalaran
at paulit ulit ka nitong paglalaruan.

HUWAG KANG MAPAPAGOD
Iunat ang iyong kamay
at ipadyak ang mga paa
Sapagkat sa dulo’y
susunduin mo ang pasakit na isasauli mo sa kabilang dulo.

DALHIN MO ANG AKING PAALALA
Itanim sa iyong puso’t
Alalahaning palagi
Na matapos ang lahat nitong paghihirap,
Giginhawa ka ri’t susunugin sa impyerno.

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Name:  Alexanders, Hope
Nickname: Hope
Origin:   Cavite, Philippines

Age: 21
Gender: male

Height: 5′6"
Weight: 120kgs

Description: A typical 21 y/o skinny guy. Dark complexion, brown eyes, bald, and stares at people blankly whenever in his ‘normal state’. He never had any "physical battle" against life, reason why he doesn’t look strong or anything, but emotionally, one can tell he’s been to everything. He brings along a silver cross necklace which he wraps around his wrist.

Personality: He’s extra sensitive, a "love-hater", and everything. depends on the person around him. But what his mind has already been set to is that to not believe on what he feels. He had a series of fall in-fall out of love experiences thus hating love. He fears going on any gatherings whatsoever because it activates his ability

Alignment:

Ability:Empathy (the ability to feel, channel, cancel, or manipulate one’s emotion)

Weaknesses: He can only manipulate emotions, he can’t make it, that means he has to find someone around with the specific emotion he needs before channeling them. He is sensitive. When there is more doubts around him, he looses faith in his self.
Funerals & Sex
Chocolates and love

Casual Clothes: A silver cross necklace around his wrist. And some peasant clothing. He brings an athame(two sided blade originally owned by her mother) along which he uses to aid him when taken over by his ability.

BIO:

Grew up in Cavite as a an introvert after seeing 3 of his friends and a bestfriend ‘die’* with eyes wide opened right in front of him.

His first encounter of his ability was when he was 6 yrs old.

It was when 3 of his friends tried to put a joke on him and used a toy snake to scare Hope off. One of his friend borrowed his favorite toy and left it somewhere. He told Hope that he saw a snake and ran away immediately and left his toy. Being eager to get his toy back, he asked his bestfriend to go along so they’ll have someone to call for help in case. When they were on their way, he had the strange feeling that assures him that the snake he was going to go face to face with is just a toy. While on their way, he thought of a plan to get even with his friends’ joke.

When they were there, he act as if he was really scared. Thinking that his bestfriend was part of the joke too, he showed him that he’s very very scared of the snake.

Even before Hope walked near to the toy, he felt fear. Like he was totally scared of the toy snake. As if it was a real snake. a real snake that might bite him and poison him to death. Before he made his step near, he grew really nervous that he felt weak, he grew weaker that he cant even stand. Though he already sees the toy and knows that it obviously is just a toy, he just grows scared that he dropped on his knees. He felt his cheeks getting wet in tears. He tried to go near to the toy snake but he felt someone collapsed. He turned and saw his bestfriend lying on the grass while 3 of his friends were on their knees crying in fear and gasping for air. He wanted to go and help his bestfriend but he was too weak and too scared to make a move, his tears continued to flow until he’s already shedding blood instead.

He didn’t had a chance to look at his other three friends and collapsed.

When he woke up, calmed, he saw his friends lying on the grass, cheeks wet with blood flowed from their eyes, staring blankly and breathing weak.

His friends and his bestfriend were hospitalized and comataused with doctors no idea of what made them that way. Only 1 person survived and took 3 and a half years before waking up. His bestfriend died eventually while the other two families lost hope that they agreed to pull their life support off.

He discovered he has abilities when he was 12 after goin on a funeral of someone whom he barely knows. It took 18 ‘dead’ people before he knew the extent of his abilities on that night.

And it took him 1 year, 8 dead and 66 comataused people before he has control of his abilities.

*the term ‘dead’ was used since it was what he thought of his victims when he was a child until he knew what really happened to them[

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—Para sa mga nagmamahal at minamahal nang walang sambitan—

Sa bawat magdamag, ikay liwayway
Sa bawat kawala’y, ikaw ang dama,
Nalalaman mong, para sa iyo ang lahat kong pag asa
At tanging sa’yo, isipa’y matatanto.

Ito ang aking sariling pag ibig
Na hinabi ng iyong sayaw
Sayo narinig ang katahimikan
Tuwinang dalawin ng iyong kasalanan
At kapag namamayapa
sa ilusyon ng iyong sambit
Ang aking kathang pagibig
ay napagtitibay ng mainit mong titig.

Sa tuwing ikaw, ang nagdurusa
Na ang iyong pagmamahal, hanap ay tahan
Nagagawa bang ngalan ko’y apuhapin
Sapagkat narito at nakikinig
Inuulol ang pandinig, na ang yong sambit
Yakapin kita ng alaying init.

Nasasaharapa’y di sinasaling
Ang lapad naking palad

Sa bawat magdamag, ikay liwayway
Sa bawat kawala’y, ikaw ang dama,
At sa tuwinang, masasaya
Kinakailangang sukliang luha
Nang ikatigangan at di na magluha.

Pagkat sa sariling pagsinta
Ang gabi ay pag iisa
Bagama’t dinig ko ang iyong tawa
Bingi naman sa iyong saya
At kahit pa magkasama
Ay manhid sa presensya

Sakali man ako’y naisin
At ang ako’y mahanap sa ibang bisig
Hayaan mo na sanang, ang katha kong pagsinta
Ay iwanang may saya, sa minanhid kong katauhan.

At hayaang ang ilusyon ng masaya kong kuwentong nobela
Ay ikaligaligan ng namamangmang ko nang pagsamba.

—At lalo’t higit, para sa mga umaasang ang kanyang pag ibig ay di sariling katha—

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